Alternate endings to favorite TV series
When a favorite television series of mine came to an end recently, I found myself thinking about what might unfold had the show gone on for a few seasons more. Then it got me thinking about other shows I have watched over the years and what they might look like if they had stayed on the air a while longer. Take a look-
Happy Days- In the show’s 17th season, Fonzie discovers that in addition to being able to attract women at the snap of a finger and turn on a jukebox by thumping it with his elbow, he also is able to fly. In the series finale, it is revealed that his superhuman powers had been coming from his leather jacket all along. The jacket flies away never to return and Fonzie becomes an accountant.
Home Improvement- After years of destruction of property and countless workman’s comp claims as a result of Tim’s incompetence, the network finally pulls the plug on Tool Time, as the show was costing them about 10 times as much as it was earning. Tim takes a job as a maintenance man at a local office building. He decides that the toilets in the bathroom need more power and soon employees are complaining that the sheer strength of the flush is sucking in wallets, keys, articles of clothing and anything else in the vicinity. Tim is fired and seeks advice from his neighbor Wilson, a wise sage who always has the right answers. Wilson suddenly realizes that he doesn’t really know anything at all and falls over and dies right on the spot. The show is cancelled.
Friends- The actors’ continual demands for more money force the producers to take drastic measures to keep the show on the air. One by one, the main characters are replaced with cast members from the show “Living Single”, until Joey is the only one left from the original cast. The show continues on for three more seasons, as if nothing happened. Oh, and Guenther turns out to be a homicidal maniac.
The Muppet Show- The inept Dr Bunsen Honeydew, along with his useless and incoherent assistant Beaker, mixes the wrong chemicals together during his most dangerous lab experiment yet, causing a massive explosion on the set. Hundreds of muppets are blown to pieces. In hopes of keeping the popular show on the air, the producers scramble to put together new Muppets from the tattered remains of the old ones. The show returns just 2 weeks later, hosted by a bizarre looking muppet assembled from various body parts of Kermit, Gonzo, the Swedish Chef and one of those cranky old guys from the balcony. The ratings are better than ever, as people tune in out of morbid curiosity to see what kind of sick and twisted muppet mutations will appear next.
Seinfeld- Elaine’s hair gets its own spin-off series, scoring great ratings and thus breaking the so-called Seinfeld curse.
Charlie’s Angels- After 37 cast changes, there are no beautiful women with marginal acting talent left in Hollywood, so the casting director begins filling the role of the angels with whomever and whatever is available. In what turns out to be the show’s final season, the angels are played by a German Shepherd, a file cabinet, and a life-size cardboard cut-out of Muhammed Ali.
The Wonder Years- When Kevin turns 21, the voice-over narrative of his older self suddenly becomes audible, not only to himself, but to everyone around him. He becomes reclusive, avoiding contact with anyone, lest he have to explain the strange voice offering deep introspective thoughts on practically everything that happens to him. Desperate to get the voice to stop, he resorts to committing random, senseless acts that couldn’t possibly lead to any meaningful conclusions or life lessons, in hopes of at least getting the voice to shut up for awhile. He even sets fire to his car for no reason at all, only to have the voice counter with “As I watched the flames and smoke ascend into the endless night sky, I knew nothing would ever be the same. We were growing up, and from the ashes of our past would rise a new beginning…” The battle continues until Kevin reaches the age of his disembodied adult voice, and the two are mercifully united as one and the show comes to an end.
The Brady Bunch- Greg realizes that turning down the opportunity to pursue a solo career as “Johnny Bravo” to preserve family unity may have been the dumbest decision he had ever made. Several years later, he returns to the recording studio and begs the producers for one more chance. All is forgiven, a killer album is recorded, and Johnny Bravo begins his ascent to the top of the charts. Everything is going perfectly for Greg until one fateful night in Cedar Rapids, Iowa in the midst of a tour featuring Johnny Bravo, The Grass Roots, The Ozark Mountain Daredevils, and The Partridge Family. Greg Brady and Keith Partridge get into an argument back stage over who ate the last of the shrimp cocktail. Fisticuffs ensue and Keith emerges from the fight with a broken jaw, a broken nose and a large gash under his left eye. The careers of both men come to a quick demise, as Greg is kicked off the tour and Keith’s face is never the same, despite 28 cosmetic surgeries.
Oh, and that favorite TV series that recently came to an end? I'll admit it. It was Gilmore Girls. But I always watched it with my wife, so I believe my masculinity is still intact...