Could Your Band be Featured on VH1's "Behind the Music"?

October 2003

So your band hopes to someday be featured on VH1's "Behind the Music" and well, who wouldn't? But hey, they don't just give those slots away. Does your band have what it takes? Take this simple test and find out.

Directions: Complete each phrase with either A or B.

1. Your bass player has trouble making it to some of the gigs because:
A. they conflict with the schedule of the church choir he sings with on weekends.
B. he disappears for days at a time, usually resurfacing at an all-night laundromat somewhere in Canada.

2. The band's lead singer and drummer:
A. occasionally squabble over whether to use the Davy Jones or the Tracy Partridge style of tambourine playing.
B. get into fistfights on stage that have to be broken up by security.

3. The band's goal is to someday:
A. open for Michael W. Smith.
B. trash a dressing room worse than Van Halen did.

4. The cover of the band's latest CD is:
A. inspired by a Monet painting.
B. banned in Thailand.

5. The lead guitarist spends most of his time:
A. practicing his instrument and honing his craft as a songwriter.
B. in and out of rehab.

6. Most former band members:
A. left amicably and even come to shows to support the band.
B. are dead or incarcerated.

7. Concerts tend to end with:
A. leading the audience in a rousing version of "Amazing Grace".
B. the lead singer jumping into the audience and getting into a drunken brawl with some fans that he thought may have been heckling him.

8. Periodically, the band's drummer will show up to practice sporting:
A. a new tattoo.
B. an ankle bracelet

9. The band's manager:
A. is the keyboard player's mother and she does a pretty good job,
B. fled the country with all the money the band was saving to record their next CD.

10. The band almost broke up when:
A. some of the guys were going off to college.
B. everyone was suing each other for their fair share of the royalties for a potential hit song.

If you answered B on all of the above questions, congratulations! You have a great chance at someday being immortalized on VH1's "Behind the Music", where stories about the band are far more interesting than the music itself.

Brian Fife

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